Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Belonging!!

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life". ~ Rita Rudner.


People marry for different reasons. Why did you marry? Was it for LOVE? Was it just the next best thing to do after reaching some point in your life?

Mostly people marry because they fall in LOVE and decide that they are ready to share their life with this special someone. Still others do so in the hope that LOVE will eventually follow marriage. I fall into the second category......Love that flourish in the safe and secure backdrop of a marriage was what I wanted. You may call me backward or traditional, but that's how I prefer it. I had always seen myself as a wife and mother, never a spinster. So it was natural for me to choose marriage and hope to eventually fall in love with my husband. 


A few days back, I was conversing with my sister on the subject of marriage. She finds it quite a complex arrangement and commented on the subject by chance. And then I pointed out to her that, life itself is complex and marriage is just a part of it. I also insisted on it being a choice, a personal one, which every man and woman has a right to choose not to undertake if they prefer so. She, as usual, asked me what if she chose not to marry. And I replied that she has to live with the consequences of it. 


Like everything else, your choice of not wanting to marry, has a set of consequences. When I further elaborated on the topic, I was surprised to discover my hidden desire to opt for (rather than against) the much debated institution - Marriage. 


The reason being so simple, I had quite forgotten about it, until the moment I uttered it to my sister. 
I wanted to BELONG. Yes, that was it. Simple and true. I had a desperate desire to 'Belong', this was the reason I chose to marry. 


Couples of any kind; be it young lovers, newly weds, old and mature couples like my parents, uncle and aunt or even grandparents; displayed a unique bond. It was like a secret life that only the two of them cherished, it was an invisible bond that outlined them as one, even in a crowed. A lovely bond that grew with age and matured with time. 


After a certain age, I often felt out of place among friends who where in LOVE. Even when I was with my parents, I began to notice how they shared something special, something that didn't include their children. I wanted to belong, not only to a person (though that was the major part to it) but also to a set of women, like myself, who chose to live a life of partnership rather than solitude. 


Who am I now? I am a Wife. By choice. I gave up my right to exist in solitude because solitude is not my forte. 


Why did my husband marry? He married because he wanted 'to care for' and 'be cared by' someone. Lovely!! Needless to say that I liked his answer....simple and true!!

1 comment:

  1. Hmmmmm its sounds nice ur post is a real motivation for me to get married :)

    ReplyDelete

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