Monday, 22 August 2011

From Do I to I Do...

"One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again."  ~Judith Viorst

As a young woman I had a lot of apprehensions about the institution of marriage. Though my parents were a pretty (close to) perfect example of a happily married couple I wasn't really sure I would be a success in this department because I was not like my mom and moreover the man who I would marry may not be like my dad either.
I signed up for the marriage preparation course that our parish sets up every 6 months to give young people an idea about marriage and a certificate (on completing the course) that give you permission to marry when ever you chose to do so.

I attended the marriage preparation course with the intention to get hold of that certificate but after sitting through for a few sessions I realized that every woman should attend this course and should do so before she chooses the one she is to marry. I was the only one who wasn't engaged to be married in that class of men and women and I was glad about that. I feel the whole purpose of the course is invalid if we have already made a choice because some of the classes make you question as to whether we are prepared to take this important step in our life.

After the course it was clear to me that marriage is inevitably not the next thing to do after you have finished your graduation and got a job. Marriage is not the answer to "What do I do next in my life?" It is something way beyond all this. Though to many youngster and parents of youngsters this is the seemingly next thing that has to be done....it needn't be so or should I say it shouldn't be so.

In our country we have set some sort  of growth chart for ourselves right from the time of birth. This growth chart has been outlined with age limits and what and when we have to achieve a certain stage or status in our life. If someone or anyone goes or chooses to differ from this set standards we all begin to point figures and even isolate them. This isolation is scary and we think it is much better to follow and reach the set targets rather than be different.

When I reached the so called marriageable age....my parents began to look for an appropriate life partner for me the way all parents do and they were not quite lucky in this department as men didn't naturally fall inline for me. After a while I grew weary about this whole darn thing. I got annoyed at the aunts who cast sympathetic glances at me for not having yet sacked a man who was getting heavy paychecks.

If you are someone who is going through this right now then I sympathize with you because I have gone through it (been there). Remember that it is not your fault nor your parents fault that you are being subjected to this scrutiny. In due course of time you will find the right person and in due course of time you will feel and want to get married. If you don't want to get married or if you are not ready right now then please don't take the plunge because marriage is a commitment and it is something that we must chose out of our own free will to enter into.

Marriage is not always going to be a bed of roses or an ocean of romance. There will be good days and bad days. There will be happy moments and sad ones. Just like the marriage vows you take at the alter that says....

"Do you, ____, take , ____, to be your (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

You never know then exactly what it means until you finally start living together. The two small words that you say after the priests asks you the above statement.....the " I DO "..... is a commitment you make ....it is an agreement you sign in the presence of God and people.

So all you single ladies out there.....marriage is not the next step or the only step that you have to take unless you want to. When you get married finally let it be your own choice and not that which is forced on you by those around you. Because even though the society and family are willing to push you into it remember that you will be spending the rest of your life with someone....it is a one-on-one relationship....and if you do it out of pressure you will hate it and regret it for the rest of your life.
Plus you don't want your husband to think that the full form of WIFE is Worry Invited For Every do you?

1 comment:

  1. That was a really sweet article :)guess everyone who are in the "marriageable age" should read it :)

    ReplyDelete

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