Thursday, 24 March 2011

My Reality Checker

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."  ~Philip K. Dick

It is always nice to own a device that would constantly (or once in a while) instill in you some kind of control. Like a weighing machine which reminds you that you are crossing the feed limit by indicating the tip in the scale when you step on it....not one of my personal favorites of-course. The one I am going to talk about is the Reality Checker as I fondly like to call it.

Reality Checker (RC).... as the name suggests........ checks me when I go overboard with my self expectations, my negativity, my never ending to-do lists, my crave for perfectionism and a whole lot more. My RC is not something that prevents me from setting goals and achieving them....it is never negative feedback...or it is not a hindrance to my progress and doesn't damper my enthusiasm in anything that I love doing. It is however a constant reminder of things that I have achieved, things that I am good at and things I should be grateful for. It is something special and I never realized its value and worth until very recently. And it has proven to be very rewarding to have this RC with me during days which are overloaded with work, baby care, mood swings and endless and numerous chores that I prefer to burden myself with on an already overloaded day.

My RC was gifted to me on my wedding day. But I didn't realize it then....or rather I chose to ignore it till very recently. The RC would constantly send reminders to me but I never took them seriously or would prefer to consider it as an intrusion rather than a friendly or kindly help. But of late I have been kind of listening to the feedback that RC gives me. It has proven to be a valuable companion in times of self doubt and stress. I constantly refer to it for helpful hints and comments....kind of keeps me motivated and I feel I have or am doing a good job on various roles I play....daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend and so on....and even as a blogger.

Ok...enough build up...I will tell you who my RC is. Did I just say "who"? Yes...it is not some typing error....my RC is a person who I live with ever since I made a vow to do so. In case you didn't guess till now....my RC is my DH (dear husband). That being said I would like to bring to your attention that everyone has his or her own RC. This RC is someone who is close to you, look no further....but the sad thing is we never realize it. It can even be inside you like your inner voice that speaks to you and says "well done". It can be your best friend, your mother, your sister, your brother....anyone who instills in you that feeling of positivity when you doubt yourself and doubt all your efforts.

My RC (translation DH) just says things like.......
"Will you just sit down for a while and relax" - when I run around doing things without a break or
"The dish tastes nice...how did you make it"- when I cook something new or
"Who are you competing with" - when I fret with doing things perfectly or
"It is just the 2 of us...so relax" - when I get tensed about anything and everything under the sun (or rather under my roof).

Now you get what I am talking about don't you? So identify the person who plays the role of the Reality Checker in your life.....and for once listen to him or her or them.

P.S. Reality Checkers are never negative....their comments should only make you feel better...not the other way round. Don't confuse them with people who give you negative feed back by saying "you are hopeless..." or "you never do anything right..." and so on....they are not RCs but plain nuisance.



2 comments:

  1. Hae this article is really nice i wonder when i am going to meet my reality checker :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Like I said it needn't be your husband all...it could be anyone...chances are you already have one chinnu...like mom,or one of your friends... :)

    ReplyDelete

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