"Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together." ~Pearl S. Buck
Most of us don't realize the lessons we learned from our mothers until we become wives and mothers ourselves. I don't know if that's the case for you but I have heard many say so.
There are things I have learned from my dad, they are endless and valuable but I knew when I learned them that I had been learning or adapting them in my life. It was a conscious decision to some extent at least. But I never realized the lessons in life that my mother subtly taught me even without actually teaching me.And it is only now that I realize that some of the basic survival skills are the ones I got from my mother.
Here are some of the things that time made me realize as 'lessons learned':
1. Cooking : My mother always made me cut stuff up, mix ingredients, wash pots and pans, make tea or coffee when guests came home, set the dinning table and so on from a very early age. Sometimes these were stuff that I did willingly but some I didn't enjoy much.
When I wanted to experiment with cooking my mum would say "you can do it....but clean up the mess after your done". She would taste the stuff I cooked and encourage me even when they were fit to land in the waste bin rather than the plate.
My mum's 'OK! List' that helped me feel cooking is fun:
- Use ready made stuff for cooking - the fish masala, chicken masala....etc instead of pounding and grinding your own.
- Cooking in large quantities and serving for the week is not a sin. This is good even if you are a home maker. It's not something only working women do.
- Trying new dishes apart form the usual regional food. I love that my mum made an effort to try out some of the restaurant stuff we ate.
- Eating out is welcome on weekends or even when you are in no mood to cook ;)
- Try shortcuts to lessen time in the kitchen.Use the ready made stuff, kitchen appliances, canned food, frozen veggies.....to make cooking a breeze.
- Make use of what you have to make a meal. You never know you might make a new dish altogether by just substituting a few here and there.
2. Daddies little girl : Me and my sister were daddies little girls and mum never complained. I am adopting this trait now 'cause I can see that my son is becoming 'daddies little boy' now.
3. Redesign : My mom gets bored after a while of seeing the same room arrangement. So once in 3 or 6 months she would rearrange the furniture and make it look like its a new home we are entering into. I loved this habit of hers and I try to do the same in my studio flat now.
4. Collector: Well this is not a very good habit because if not used well this will lead to clutter in the house. My mother is an exception - she would find function and use for things that would usually land in the dust bin. Hmm...I do the same now....like shoe boxes, plastic containers, cardboard pieces, thermocol could be put to a lot of use.
5. Kitchen Beauty : If there was an award for this then I am sure my mother would have won it. She is the one who taught me that most of the beauty products are the ones that you find in your kitchen. Sliced cucumber, tomato, potato are all excellent for the skin, egg white and honey reduces wrinkles and so on.....I don't do any of this (too lazy) but it is a lesson learned.
6. Time is the most important thing you can give some one : She used to spend time listening to my stupid school stories and girl fights and later my college stories without judging me. It just made her my very best friend during the teenage years.
7. Treat your children equally : We were two...me and my sister....she never had favorites. Just because my sister is smaller than me didn't mean she could get away with anything wrong she did or vise versa.
8. Husband = best friend : My mom and dad are really good friends. In their generation I haven't seen many such cases. This is a lesson I follow in my life too.
"One good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters." ~George Herbert