Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Being a Mum

"The trouble with learning to parent on the job is that your child is the teacher."  ~Robert Brault

As a young mother I had a lot of things to conquer before I finally became one. A child brings a lot of things into your life other than joy. He brings confusion, mess, tension, anxiety and a whole lot of things....but you know what....in the end its all worth it.

The problem is no one ever tells you how different your life will be after your baby is born. They give you hints by saying "sleep all you can now before the baby arrives"....and all the baby related book that I read warned me that each baby is different and these are only guidelines to follow but you have to use your own baby handling techniques.
After a long wait of 40 weeks or so - commonly known as the 9 months, which are further divided into 3 trimesters your little bundle of joy arrives. At this stage you are excited, relieved and experience a cocktail of emotions. And the days that follow  you question your conscious decision of having a baby or becoming a mother. You begin questioning your ability and skill of being a mother. You get frustrated and feel as though you are the worst mother ever. I thought I was the only one who went through all such feelings until I began to talk with other mothers like me (young and inexperienced 1st timers) and wow!!! they too felt the same. Some said that they had postpartum depressions. I think that is just a term used to describe all those feeling you feel after delivery cause to sum it up it is quite "depressing".
I went through a whole lot of feelings before I began to forgive myself for having such feelings because its quite normal. I read somewhere that the birth of a baby is also the birth of a mother. Its new and its a learning process in this case your baby becomes your teacher. This little person though small has all the makings of a small grown up....more demanding than a grown up sometimes because he is totally dependent on you and you will have to decode his cries to understand when he wants what. Don't worry you will soon become an expert at this. Like any new skill this one needs immense patience (perhaps the most).

Some points to remember if you are planing to become a Mother in the near future:

1. You should really really want to become a mother. It should be your own decision not forced upon you by the realms of society.
2. Take time and talk about this with you partner and make sure he too wants the baby.
3. Be prepared to forgo your present life style.
4. Make an appointment with your gynecologist and get a health check. You have to be healthy to provide the best conditions for your baby to survive inside you, so there is no harm in making sure you are in top condition.
5. Do a little reading. There are loads of topics in the internet related to this and really good websites too like http://www.babycentre.co.uk/ and www.whattoexpet.com

Some points to remember if you are pregnant:

1. Though it may seem like a long long time it will soon pass. So enjoy all the attention for it will shift soon from you to your baby.
2. Ask your doctor if anything is bothering you.
3. Symptoms of pregnancy like morning sickness, swollen feet etc. are quite normal and don't make a fuss about it.
4. Eat healthy and take your Vitamins.
5. Take a walk on days you can and relax.
6. Read baby books just to get an idea.
7. Everyone will say that you need to be happy always but that's not always possible cause your hormones will take you through a mixture of emotions. So its ok to be sad, upset, scared, hungry, angry and all that too.
8. Talk to someone if you feel scared or stressed or confused so you can just let out your emotions and feel relaxed.
9. If you are a writing person just write down how you feel. Its nice to read back later and it kind of relaxes you.
10. Be prepared for the little one mentally and physically. He/she will soon be here and is here to stay.

P.S: I didn't mean to scare anyone with this article. Its just meant for giving you the real picture. And at the end of it all if you ask me if its something I would have done if i knew it was going to be like this then my answer would be "yes......definitely....cause it adds meaning to mine and my husband's life... and to all those who love my son soo much (that included his grandparents and uncles and aunts...)".


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